just some change

Not that you are solely paying attention to what we, the huzband and I, post on social media, however we’ve gotten enough questions that we thought it warranted some answers. Maybe a blog post.

A little less than a year ago, the huzband and I began talking very seriously about some hopes and dreams, mine specifically, and the steps needed to get there.

Enter graduate school.

Now was the time. We didn’t have all the answers to the ‘how’s’, but we knew now was the time. So without having been officially accepted yet, I began applying for scholarships. And without knowing when I would officially begin school (rolling enrollment, when would they let me start?), we decided we needed to make some changes at home, specifically the house we lived in.

We felt it would benefit us in the long run to downsize; to sell our house, live for a season in a smaller place (read less $) and hopefully be able to buy something with more land a few years down the road.

Enter listing our home.

So in March, about a week before the state of Alaska shut down due to COVID, we put our house up for sale.

Here is where I let you know, I am human. I love our house; we dreamed and created a space for our family to flourish and a space to share with others. Our heart has been for anyone who walks through our doors, to know they are welcomed, loved, and safe. From when our house was sheetrock and jipcreek, we poured over our walls and floors with scriptures and prayers, and perhaps there are some goofy pictures mixed in as well! This house has been a gift, one in which I held with an open hand. Yet, when we were talking about selling, I could feel my hands wanting to close, tightening their grip around this gift. I am human. But it needed to happen, and so we moved forward.

We put our house up for sale.

And then, not much happened. We had a few house showings but overall, when supposedly the market was booming, houses being sold left, right and every which way, nada.

So we sheltered at home, while online schooling. The snow melted and sunshine came in full force. We enjoyed the great outdoors with overnight hiking trips, backyard play and anything else an Alaskan summer provides. I personally felt like this summer was a gift; knowing I was starting grad school soon and all the nooks and crannies of time would be filled with schoolwork (for me), I enjoyed the free time summer provided with my family.

Here is where my writers block hits, maybe because I am tired or maybe because it is unfinished. We are still walking this out. (Ooo, that sounded so serious!)

A few months ago, the husband received a call from a former colleague at World Vision. This isn’t the first time the huzband has received a call like this, floating an idea, seeing if there is interest, mentioning a job possibility, however, this time seemed different. Yes, in short, it was a conversation about potentially coming back to work with World Vision.

Enter, WHAT!!!!

It came on the heels of a change for the huzband at work, a fairly significant change. This isn’t the first change for him at work; in fact, his heart has been to serve where he is needed and thus, we have seen him fill or step into a role, not once, not twice, but multiple times! I have watched the huzband as he holds each position with humility and an open hand, not by words but with his actions, not defined by a title but his willingness to work hard and see something all the way through. (I may be a little partial and proud of him.)

We would both say it was unexpected, not the question about working with World Vision per say, but the fact that for the first time, we entertained the idea. I love Alaska. I love living in Alaska. Being here has given us two more wonderful daughters, a community we do life with, friendships that you don’t come upon very often and the beautiful creation of God! I love living in Alaska, and yet I also recognized this was something different. It was something that spoke to my husband’s heart, where his story could uniquely fit and so we took the time to think about it, talk about it, weigh it and pray about it.

A WHOLE LOT of talking with Jesus.

Sometimes we hope, want, desire, or expect for an answer to plop in our lap. We want to know not just what the next steps are but also the end result before we even get started; we want to know which decisions to make, along with the when and how’s! Reality however shows over and over that that really isn’t how it works, is it?! Often, it is just one step in front of the other. Being sure to honor the step in front of you, to do your best and fulfill it, only to find yourself in the same place again, taking just one more step into the unknown, with a whole lot of wishing and hoping that we don’t make a royal mess out of things.

I think F A I T H can look a lot like this.

Faith isn’t having the answers, it’s choosing to move forward when you don’t.

Faith is recognizing how very real and present He is, even when nothing seems to make sense.

Faith has wisdom and action and peace and trust and character and mercy and compassion and belief. Faith is open to listening and keeping your eyes on Him. Faith is moving forward AND it is patiently waiting.

The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd. – Hebrews 11:1-2 MSG

So here we are. I know you are wondering what happened? You are dying to know the chronicles of the Martinez tribe. Well………

That’s a great question.

We are waiting. We are in the interview process with World Vision, a process that took longer than we planned to get started, and that’s okay. Yes, that is okay. In the meantime, we got not one but two offers on our house. We accepted one, have a closing date that is quickly approaching, and only this week did we finalize where we will be living for the foreseeable future.

Everything is changing, and yet, we don’t know exactly what is changing. We don’t have answers but we have peace in the process. There were moments where it was undeniable in my heart that the very thing we should be doing is be patient and wait, which feels a lot like absolutely nothing. And that’s okay.

Today, my focus is packing and/or school, depending on the hour. The countdown is on (a week and a few days) till this amazingly beautiful gift of a house will become the place for a new family to build a home. May the joy we have so overwhelmingly enjoyed here overflow to this new family. And may I continue to keep my gaze upon the One who likes to do things backwards, sideways and all the ways I never could or would have thought or expected.

Faith is not easy.

It is a choice.

A choice I want make again.

P.S. If you haven’t noticed, all these photos come from what we have lovingly referred to as #lacasaalaska. Yes, we name our houses. I think I originally had over fifty pictures, so if you want to stick around, you can keep getting a glimpse into the life of our little tribe. LOTS of pics to follow below!! =)

As you can see, we could keep going with memories marked with pictures. Alas, I will call it the day and end with a grateful and full my heart. Till next time friends….

4 thoughts on “just some change

  1. Thank you for sharing and I am sure you know you are not alone
    in the ‘not knowing’. Before I moved to Alaska both my parents and my wife died
    and I was totally adrift. Praying all the time never seemed to clear the fog of
    not knowing. But like you said moving forward and praying about the steps taken have
    smoothed out the rough spots.

    Now nearing the end of my life’s road
    its is easier to see Gods will
    in the steps taken on
    my road of life

    1. Thank you for sharing Pete!! So appreciate your encouragement and sharing a small piece of your story! What courage to face the unknown for you, especially without the ones who you loved greatly!! 🖤. Knowing we are not alone and being reminded that we are not alone is important! We truly are in this journey of life together!!

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