Today two kids from the old youth group we led got married. Sometimes I still see them as little high school teenagers but here they all are growing up, graduating from college, getting married and having children. How come I don’t feel any older? This week I’ve thought much about the journey these two are beginning; how exciting it is to become husband and wife and the adventure that is ahead.
The huzband and I have been married for about 6 + years. We still have a long road ahead of us with so much to learn. I have seen how we both have grown and matured these past few years. We hit the ground running when we got married but God has given us the grace and wisdom to navigate through it all as one. Over the summer we sat down and were being interviewed (a story for another time) and one of the last questions was about our marriage. Things we have learned or find the most important in having a “successful” marriage. I know that as time passes, situations change, so will what the huzband and I do that makes things work; there’s that need to be flexible. However, there are a few things for us that regardless of the situation, are really like requirements for us. So in honor of the marriage that occurred today, I thought I would share what a few are for the huzband and I.
getting ready in my mom’s room
For us the strongest chord in our marriage is God. He is the one that brought us together. Before He even brought us together, it is He that brought me life. We both know the importance for each of us to own our own relationship with God. I can not rely on the huzband, neither he on me, for our intimacy with Christ. As well, as we come together as a husband and wife, God is our foundation. Everything I have is because of Him, including my huzband. He is so very real to both of us.
on my way
I have quite a few friends that are either separated or divorced in their 20’s and 30’s. I feel like one day I woke up and saw this reality of broken marriages all around me. They were always there but I don’t think I was so sensitive to them. A few years ago, after hearing about another relationship being split, the huzband and I were talking in the car on the way home. Something that might seem as just a passing thought has become a very real importance to both of us. That is that we are no more special than anyone else, specifically no more special than the couple that is separated or divorced. You see, we both agree that we, our marriage, is just as vulnerable as any other marriage. We don’t have the mentality that it could never happen to us. We are sinners. We are imperfect humans that make mistakes. And because of this, because of our awareness that either one of us (or both) could seriously fail at our marriage, all the more for us to protect it and do whatever it takes to guard it. Why? Because, he is the man who I love, he is a part of me and I will kill him if he ever leaves me! Wait, backtrack….because he is that man I love, he is a part of me, he is my gift from God and I will do my best to treasure that as long as I live. Is this making sense? All I am saying is that to think it could never happen to you puts you in danger, because it can.
I know you were expecting some grand secret to success, but really, we have only been married 6ish years.
some of the kids from X-perience (our old youth group)
There is always more. More advice, tips, etc. However, sometimes it’s remembering these simple things that puts you in a place to be open and honest. To be thankful and appreciative. I am thankful the man I call huzband is one that opens his heart, is humbled and obedient to what God has to say. I learn so much from him.